The three most devalued behaviors in communication are often overlooked by many people!

Carnegie said, "Only 15% of a person's success is due to their professional skills, and 85% depends on their communication and work skills

Clearly, the importance of interpersonal communication.

Good interpersonal relationships often have an impact on a person's life.

I just don't know when people started to interact with each other, no longer being kind and sincere.

Some people seem to be wearing masks, one in front and one behind.

Maintaining moderation and appropriate social distancing is understandable.

But if there are always two faces before and after, it will only lead to betrayal and separation among the people. In communication, there are three behaviors that are most devalued, but many people are not aware of them!

01.Blind comparison, discussing right and wrong of people

I have read a story:

Xiao Wang graduated six years ago, got married and had children, and owns a house in a non provincial capital city.

Apart from missing a commuter car, life is actually very happy.

However, Xiao Wang was dissatisfied, especially when he attended a friend's wedding and saw someone who was not as good as him drive a million dollar luxury car back then, which made his heart even more uncomfortable.

He often discusses with his friends behind their backs: who is making so much money by taking advantage of the underworld; Who is it that they have fallen in love with wealthy women and are so extravagant.

Later, Xiao Wang gritted his teeth and took out a loan to buy a luxury car.

Even though he has a mortgage, car loan, and is eating bran and vegetables with his wife at home, when he hears compliments and envy from friends, Xiao Wang is still happy in his heart, feeling that the hardship and exhaustion are worth it.

Just a serious illness of my daughter has made my already struggling life even more difficult.

Helpless, Xiao Wang could only sell his luxury car at a low price.

Due to job hopping, Xiao Wang couldn't find a suitable job in a short period of time, and at one point, he collapsed and didn't even want to live.

As the old saying goes, fate is up to me, fortune is sought by myself.

I deeply believe so.

People who blindly compare themselves and argue about right and wrong often become blinded by appearances, unable to see their true selves clearly, resulting in decision-making errors.

That's why Xiao Wang fell into a low point in his life.

The peacocks in the zoo often blindly spread their beautiful wings and accidentally expose their buttocks when they see brightly colored scarves.

In daily life, people with this' peacock mentality 'are not uncommon.

Often, due to blind comparison, one not only fails to gain self-esteem, but also pushes oneself into a low point in life.

Someone said, "Happy people always see what they have, while unhappy people always see what others have

Many misfortunes often come from blind comparison.

The more people love to compare themselves, the more they feel the unfairness and misfortune of life.

02.the WayDe kidnapping, taking advantage of people

Huang Lei said a few words in the variety show "Longing for Life" and felt very classic:

It's not easy for everyone to come, give face, or be a child, for your own good, get used to it, have a big holiday, and get older.

In just a few words, the Chinese people's habitual moral kidnapping is vividly displayed.

If you think about it carefully, such people abound around us.

Both relatives and friends have said similar things.

And when we communicate with them, we always get bored.

For no other reason, they stood on the high ground in the cloak of morality.

Once you have different opinions, you will appear to be independent, and therefore, you will often suffer dumb losses.

People who like or are good at moral kidnapping actually like to take advantage of others.

He has such a preemptive advantage that you have little chance of resisting.

As the old saying often says, a loss is a blessing.

Many people regard it as a standard and often use it to comfort themselves after suffering losses.

Losing is a blessing, but losing too much is not a blessing.

The easier you talk, the more people don't take you seriously. The more you back down, the more people push their luck.

I still remember that some people rented the rent to relatives and wanted to sell it many years later. As a result, they were accused by relatives of being inhuman. They wanted to drive their family away for the sake of money.

Singer Cong Fei often subsidize poor students, after a serious illness cut off funding, but was discredited.

You often help your friends and dig out your heart and lungs for him, but once you didn't help him, he not only forgot your help, but also secretly said that you were wrong, so there was a gap in friendship.

All these things are not rare.

Some netizens said: The most difficult fight was called moral kidnapping.

Learn to refuse, not a good old man; refuse moral kidnapping, also do not moral kidnapping others.

You have to love yourself first, and don't always feel guilty because you treat others well.

Since others are not bashful and morally kidnap you, you should also resolutely refuse.

03.Always play the mind, gossip

As the saying goes, "horses look at their teeth, while people look at their words and deeds".

Words are the voice of the heart. A person's words can often reflect his truest appearance intuitively.

In everyone's social circle, I'm afraid there is a person who always plays with his mind and likes to gossip.

Some people, just pure gossip, love to gossip, talk about people's right and wrong; but some people gossip for a purpose, not for gossip.

The former is good to say that if you associate with it, you can leave three points.

If it is the latter, be careful.

This kind of person will not give up until he reaches his goal, and he has a lot of heart.

Why do some people like to play mind?

Psychologists have summed up three reasons:

1. playing with the mind's eye can bring benefits

Because I have had the experience of playing with the mind's eye and bring benefits, I have formed the inertia of thinking. When I see that it is beneficial to myself, I will move my mind and play with the mind's eye.

2. play mind eye can bring a sense of achievement

Often play with others between the bones and palms, there will be a sense of achievement, to meet a special psychological, so some people enjoy it.

3. family

Due to the influence of the family, some people have learned to disguise themselves in the process of personality formation due to timidity and inferiority. They do not easily reveal their true thoughts. They have a lot of thoughts and are very complicated.

Playing with the mind and gossiping are inseparable.

A person who always plays with his mind and has a lot of small thoughts should be on guard when he starts gossiping about others.

This kind of person can't get up early without profit, gossip, there must be a purpose.

You must not go along with it and learn to protect yourself. Today he can gossip about others and play with his mind. Tomorrow I will be able to gossip about you and play with my mind.

After all, the heart of harming people is indispensable, and the heart of preventing people is indispensable.

The road is difficult to walk, not in the mountains, not in the water, only in the human feelings.

Human feelings are repeated, the most elusive.

Being with people is also a practice.

Short-term contacts look at temperament, life-long contacts look at personality.

Your life is very expensive. Stay away from people with discord for the rest of your life. Don't consume yourself for no reason because of interpersonal communication.

The above mutual encouragement.

Source: Philosophy Life Network